Doctors of psychology, medicine, psychiatry and anything else (a PhD in any subject) have had a field day for many years regarding child development.

One very famous doctor sold millions of his books on child development. After about 30 years (having earned a great fortune) he was honest and confessed that his advice to parents had been completely wrong! The facts showed that his advice was wrong: parents following his advice would end up with children and young people out of control, which was the opposite of what he intended. He should have credit for being honest!

The simple fact is that we are all individuals. Children don't develop according to a pattern you can draw in a diagram! Some sort of reasonable discipline is required in order to see our children grow up to be good citizens. Some basic rules for our children to adhere to.

A community cannot survive for long without some rules!

Your child is an individual. If you have two children you have two individuals. If you have three children you have three individuals, etc.

So when you read in books what a child should be able to do at a certain age, forget it! It is completely irrelevant to your child's development!

When a child is born - a fantastic experience for the parents - the first question would be: is this a healthy baby? If your baby is born at the right time and your baby is healthy, this is a great start to life for your baby. Something to be truly grateful for.

If your baby has been born prematurely or with a disability of some sort, you will not in any way let this influence your great love and care for your baby. In most cases such a baby will be 'spoilt rotten' and receive extra love and care.

Nobody should blame parents for that. They are acting as they think is best for their baby. This is what matters!

Most parents will no doubt have looked in some books about child development.

Forget about the timing for the following developments:
When a baby should focus his/her eyes to look at you.
When a baby should follow your movements.
When a baby should grab your hands and other objects.
When a baby should try to sit up.
When a baby should try to crawl, stand up or walk.

The timing is different for different babies. Brothers and/or sisters do not develop at the same pace. It will make no difference to further development, if your baby can walk a couple of months before or after the time it took an older brother or sister.

Your baby will at some stage try to 'talk' - this lovely international language, which is so nice to hear from a baby, although there are no words. But you encourage your baby to go on 'talking'. When you talk a lot to your baby, it will not be long before you realize that your baby will understand certain words you use.

Your baby will start crawling when he/she is ready for it. He/she will start walking, when he/she is ready for it. Some babies will simply leave out the crawling stage and go straight to the walking stage. It makes no difference to your child’s further progress. A child should be able to develop at his/her own pace, always encouraged by the parents, but never forced!

Lots of cuddles, lots of smiles and laughter is very important as part of your baby's development. Your baby will trust you completely and be pleased to follow your encouragement for the next step in his/her development.

Spare a thought for the life in neglected children's orphanages in some countries. No cuddles, no proper hygiene, no love. Result: brain-damaged, under-weight children with no proper future. If anybody treated pets like that in the so-called civilized world, there would be action!

Give your baby an extra kiss and a hug! The sleepless nights don't matter so much any more, do they? You are going to give your baby the best possible upbringing with love, care and also some sensible, firm rules.

Copyright 2003 Carl Schyberg

"How to give YOUR CHILD the best start in life" is
Carl Schyberg's brand-new e-book. A practical guide without any educational jargon.
Please visit: http://www.parents-only.com
for your 'no-cost-to-you' Mini-Edition.