Do you have a baby shower planning question for Peggy? Send it to her and you may see it posted here within two weeks of sending it in to her. EMAIL HERE.
Q: My sister just found out that she is pregnant. She is ten weeks along. Her best friend, Katie, emailed everyone in their circle of friends to say that she is going to throw my sister her shower. I'm hurt because I am her sister and I feel like I have the right to throw her a party. I don't want to upset my sister since this is supposed to be a fun time for her. What should I do? ~ Angie S., NY
A: Angie - What a good sister you are! It sounds like you are very close to your family. You are in a sticky situation, though. One, I fear, that many find themselves in and don't know how to fix it. My advice is to calmly ask your sister if it would be OK to have a second party for just the family. So, her best friend can throw her a "friends" shower and you could throw her a "family" shower. Be prepared that she may want to have one big party. If that is the case, then talk it over with Katie and let her know how you feel. Most likely, she didn't even think of stepping on your toes. She just loves your sister enough to want the best for her and the baby, which is wonderful. Be happy for that. Maybe Katie will feel like some help in the party would be great. Planning a baby shower can be a lot of work and having another person to share the tasks and expenses with might be a blessing to Katie. Good luck! ~ Peggy
Q: Do I need to feed everyone lunch at the baby shower? ~ Shelby N, GA
A: Absolutely not. The most you need to do is to provide cake and punch/soda/water. A lot of people opt to have appetizers such as cheese and meat platters, veggie trays with dips, crackers, fruit plates, and sandwhich fixings. You do not not to have a full sit down dinner prepared for everyone. Time the party so that it is in between lunch and dinner if you are concerned about having food at the party.
Q: I heard that co-ed baby showers are the "in" thing right now. Is that true? If so, is there a difference in how I should plan for a co-ed shower versus a normal "all girl" shower? Please help! ~ Karen M., OH
A: Hi Karen! Yes, co-ed parties have become popular since men have become more "hands-on" in pregnancies than in past generations. The party will be the same as any other shower, except that you will want to have party favors and games/prizes more "neutral". Meaning, don't hand out purse accessories as the favor - the guys really wouldn't know what to do with that! Something more like candy and chocolate may be a good "neutral" baby shower co-ed party favor. Also, include in the invitations that it is a co-ed and address the invitations to the couple invited, not just the mom's friend. A funny baby shower game to play is the "dress baby", "diaper baby", or "baby bottle" beer race.
Q: Thank you so much for your website. I've really enjoyed it! I have a sad question to ask. Please answer quickly for me. My friend, Sara, was five months pregnant when she miscarried. She is devasted and it is a terrible loss for her and her family. I was planning her baby shower and have had invitations printed with the party information on them. The party favors arrived just yesterday. I didn't book the rental hall yet, or have any of the decorations. My question is, is it appropriate to ask for my money back from the online websites that I bought the invitations and favors from since they are personalized and their policies state that they will not return personalized things. I know it sounds so petty of me to be thinking of my returns in light of what my friend has gone through. But, we can't use them and my family is on one income, so we really need the money back if at all possible. What do you think? Please answer soon. Many thanks ~ Abigail R, CA
A: Hi Abigail! First, I am so sorry for your friend's loss. There are no words that can describe the pain that she is feeling. Just be there for her and her family, as I'm sure you are.
Second, in understanding that you cannot use the invitations or favors for the party, you may want to try and contact the websites that you purchased them from to see what their policy is for situations such as these. Since they both have specific return policies on personalized items, they can say no to your request. If that is the case, then accept the loss of the money and know that some things are out of your control and your days will come and go as usual.
Keep in mind that the stores you purchased the items from probably cannot use those items either since they have your friend's name on them, so they aren't evil people who don't care. They are most likely hard-working people who are trying to earn money for their family too. An understanding company may give you a percentage of your order back. That is how you might want to approach them. Ask for a percentage back, letting them know that you understand that they have their time and costs already in the products. Someone has to pay for the person to print the invitations, right?
Well, I hope that my answer helps you a little. Please write back to me to let me know how it all turns out. And please send my condolensces to your friend. Stay strong for her.
